dearest rhys,

i know this is not original by any-means, but, i find it better than a simple email, letter, (one of my many annoying) cards or phone-calls (especially at 9am in the morning,) it's sunday morning, & today is the 6th of february. this time a year ago, i was heartbroken, just been used, taken advantage of & hurt. all through my pointless relationship with cam, you were there. not that i noticed that at first, but i'm forever thankful of how much you have helped me, for the past 15 months.

we have been through so much. together, & separately. but, we've always come out stronger & happier at the end. for both of us, this has been a long journey, & it's only been just over a year of knowing each other. we both know that it's an even longer journey ahead. people tell me i am insane for waiting. why live in the future? i don't know why we do rhys, i guess it's just all we have. & as long as you have something, as small or large as it may be. as long as you have something at the end of the day to come home to, it makes the day worth trudging through.

people question us alot, i don't know how often you get questioned by your friends or family, but i do almost every day. some days it's just how can i stay loyal. others, it's more complicated. like how do i know the real you by just talking to you on the phone. despite all the questions, it makes me smile when people ask me these questions. i know none of them could ever be strong enough, or loyal enough to do what we are doing. & it's a pity, because they're missing out on something trully amazing.

a friend of mine got engaged on her 18th birthday in october last year, yesterday, they broke up. hwy do we keep going. why are we still together, how have we not broken up? i can't understand it & i never will. i don't know why we chose each other. why we liked each other, why we fell in love. i tried not to fall for you, you know that. i couldn't get hurt again. i didn't think i had any love left in me to give someone, & you deserved alot. but i couldn't not. there are too many things i love about you, to not fall in love with you every single day.

i love how beautiful you make me feel each & every day. i loved you so long ago. i loved you when you starting giving me that reason to live. a reason to wake up in the morning & just hope one day i'd be lucky enough to have someone like you. i never once thought i could have you. ever. i never ever ever thought i could. or that you could love me back. i'm glad i was wrong.  you know i love you more than anything. you know i wouldn't change it for anything. i want to wait because you're the only person who makes me happy. & i admire you for that. i couldn't live without you. i know that seems so very dependent. but i don't think i could.

rhys, love helps me see. it helps me grow, & it lets me help others, & it helps me be a better person, a better person to you, & friend. i just want to thank you for allowing me to be a part of your life, & for transforming mine. you help me learn so much about myself, about life, about love, & about you, & i'm grateful that you are in my life.

ever since i have met you my life has had sunshine. every morning i wake up i smile & am thankful to have you. every fight we have, we sort out quickly, because fights are pointless. i want to be with you forever rhys. i want to move in with you, marry you, have your children, grown old & do nothing. i just want to be around you, because when i am i feel amazing & i feel like every problem i have disappears. i want to feel the way i do when i talk to you, when i'm around you, for the rest of my life.

happy 10 months. every single last second has been amazing & i haven't regretted one thing about us. i love so many things about you & you are so amazing. you are rhys. i am proud of you. proud of how hard to work, how amazing you are towards your family, your friends.. & even more so, me. you treat me so amazingly baby, & i will spend the rest of my life trying to repay you. thankyou for being in my life. i'm never leaving.

xo.

happy 10 months.

i love you.

-ashlea.